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5 Nigerian Women Speak About Why Motherhood isn’t in Their Plans

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For most Nigerian women, the expectation is that they would get married and become mothers after a certain age. Once they pass that age, they start getting funny glances and questions from friends, families and even strangers.

However, some of these women are deviating from the norm and choosing themselves over people’s expectations of them. We spoke to some of them and they shared the reasons why they currently do not want any kids of their own.

Nanya

I’m the first-born daughter of an Igbo family and you know what that means. I had to take care of my siblings and even my parents. All that homemaking has really put me off the idea of motherhood. I like to say that I was literally robbed of my childhood. I don’t think I want to be fully responsible for anyone ever again. I’m officially retired from homemaking.

Janet

Growing up, I had always loved kids. So naturally, I assumed I wanted them. I mean I love them, so why not have them? Turns out I was wrong. When I grew up, I realized that as amazing and adorable as they are, kids come with a truckload of drama, tantrums and so much neediness. As I am like this, I’m even looking for someone to adopt me so if you’re a rich billionaire that’s looking for an overgrown baby, hit me up. Don’t worry, I know how to spend money.

Yetunde

Child free and proud

I’m too Independent and I love it! I don’t want to be at a party and start thinking of my child that I left at home and I can’t trust someone else to take care of. With the way my life is set up and the amount of enjoyment I see in my future, I don’t think I want to carry that kind of responsibility. Maybe in the future when I’ve lived my best baby girl life.

Osas

Black Woman in Labor Pains

Childbirth is TOO painful. I have done my fair share of research and listened to countless horrid stories about giving birth. I’ve seen enough to make me decide that that level of pain is not my portion. Not in this life, or in the next and no one can change my mind. Trust me, a lot of people have tried (unsuccessfully). I don’t want to hear that there are painless deliveries, they aren’t the norm. The painful ones are.

Boma

I do not know if I do not want kids exactly but what I don’t want is marriage. I don’t want to get married and I don’t think I want to undergo the torture of explaining why I don’t have a husband but have a child to Nigerian elders. It might sound like a stupid decision but I really don’t care that much. I like where I am in my career and I think a child wouldn’t exactly help to advance that.

Children are a “gift” that everyone doesn’t have to accept. Women should not be expected to give their time and lives for childbirth if they aren’t interested. They shouldn’t also be threatened with old age and loneliness, they can have full, long and happy lives without kids.

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Kanyinsola Nwaizu
Kanyinsola Nwaizu

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