What Does It Mean When She says “We need to talk”

“We need to talk.” These four simple words can strike fear into the heart of anyone in a relationship. Whether it’s a romantic partnership, a friendship, or a professional relationship, hearing these words can often lead to anxiety and uncertainty.

But what do they really mean, especially in a relationship?

When your girl says “We need to talk,” it usually means that there is something important that she wants to discuss with you. It could be something positive, like making a decision together, or something more serious, like addressing an issue in the relationship. It could also mean any of the 5 things we’ve outlined below. Oya, keep reading to find out.

It could mean she’s hungry

Hunger is a very serious thing. Who knows? WW1 may not have started if everyone who decided to start it ate before leaving their houses. (Don’t ask me how I know this, because I don’t know.) So if she wants to tell you she’s hungry and she starts by saying we need to talk then you need to sit down and listen to her and afterwards do the needful. I mean, is there a better way to show her that you’re a good boo if you don’t get her food?

If you want to get her food that will show her how much you love her, check out our article here. You’re welcome!

It could mean she’s pregnant

What better way to inform you about the result of your collaboration than using the preamble ‘we need to talk’? The 9-month project is some big news and its announcement needs to be taken seriously. Now that 1+1 has equalLed 3, both of you need to talk about the upgrade of your status from ‘babe’ to ‘baby daddy’. Have no fear! The Lord is your strength.

It could mean she wants to break up

Maybe she acted on one of those tweets that tell you to ‘ask your partner to pronounce words like silhouette and lingerie so that you can see what you’re dating’. If you jog your memory, you may remember her asking you to pronounce some random words and sadly, you may have pronounced nonsense. Of course your girl is probably going to start ‘The Talk’ by saying It’s not you, it’s me. But between me and you, we know better.

It could mean she’s quarrelling with her bestie and needs to pour out her heart

Funmi is probably acting up again and your girl needs to vent to you about it and tell you all the ways her bestie is upsetting her. Normally, Funmi would have been the one she would’ve vented to but now she is the one to be vented about.

So what do you do? You take Funmi’s place, at least for the meantime.

P.S: Make sure to show interest while she’s talking by nodding your head, asking questions and sometimes repeating something she said to make sure you heard right. You don’t want to make her feel like you’re not listening. She’s already upset. For your own safety, do not upset her further.

It could mean she got a visa and is about to japa

This one can pain eh! Especially if you’re only hearing it from her for the first time. Well, Sorrows, Sorrows, Prayers. There may or may not be promises to continue the relationship when she gets there. Whatever it is, wipe your tears and start processing your own visa. After all, the show must go on. Youkay, here we come!

On a serious note, don’t be afraid of having these talks. We all know that communication is the lifeblood of any relationship. It could be the difference between a successful relationship and a broken one. Remember to listen and try not to ~~die~~ get defensive. If you’re not sure of what to do when she says “We need to talk”, I’ve outlined some pointers here.

Wishing you all the best!

Nesiama Fasola

Nesiama (Ness) Fasola is a community manager, tech enthusiast, writer and full time hopeless romantic. She loves to scribble words in a bid to make sense of the jumble of thoughts, ideas and emotions that constantly plague her mind. At her leisure, you can either find her nose-deep in a book, brewing coffee or poking around in her garden.