Now we can all agree that Nigerian parents are dramatic and we all grew up in the same homes, even if we were raised in separate apartments.
While having conversations with them might be fun because of their unique sense of humor, navigating sensitive conversations with them will never be a walk in the park. It always comes loaded with a lot of drama; exaggerated reactions, witty comebacks and the most savage responses, and if not properly managed, it might not end well, if you know what I mean.
We’ll be exploring a few of those controversial topics that will never not be hard to discuss with Nigerian parents. Grab your popcorn and enjoy!
Career choices
Imagine going to your mum or dad who have no military experience and telling them you want to become a soldier. Just get ready for premium bashing with punchlines like, “After all I’ve done for you,” or “do you want to disgrace me?”
Parents in Nigeria are very particular about their children’s career choice; they believe there’s only one path to greatness and it begins with obtaining a bachelor’s degree, usually followed by a white-collar job with some promise of a wonderful career ahead of you.
Meanwhile, all you probably wish you could be is a rapper and travel the whole world on music tours. If you’ve made up your mind that this is the path you want to pursue and you’re ready for the drama that will come with it, then, you need to have a conversation with your parents.
I remember Davido’s story and how his father arrested him because he wanted to do music…lol
Disclaimer: The first time you want to bring up the subject, try not to sit too close to them because heads might roll…
The truth is they want the best for you but they might have limited knowledge on the benefits of giving you the liberty to pursue your dreams and abilities.
Relationship and Marriage
The choice of whom to date or marry will forever be a sensitive subject to discuss with Nigerian parents. You can tell by the way they usually begin with prayers that almost sound like curses. I’m not sure I know why but this conversation can move from zero to hundred in a matter of seconds.
According to the general handbook our parents operate from, the statutory time for this particular conversation is the wee hours of the morning, when the sleep is just making sense or after a great family hangout or after you’ve made the mistake of attending a wedding owambe with them and you visibly had fun (oops, now you’re in trouble!).
Once they begin this conversation, it might help if you keep your opinions to yourself, especially if they’re contradictory, or else, the mothers would say you have killed them when you say you aren’t ready to get married at a certain age, especially when they think you have enough resources to get married.
This is one conversation you have to handle with all the maturity you can muster, else you might just end up being disinherited or having to involve the entire extended family because Nigerian parents can be so dramatic.
Parenting styles
Nigerian parents will never take the backseat when it comes to conversations around parenting your own children.
Telling your parents (or parents-in-law) that the doctor says your infant isn’t supposed to take any external fluid (like water and traditional herbs) except breast milk for a whole six months because of a “concept” called exclusive breastfeeding, or that the child should be strapped instead of sitting pretty on your back might just be your way of starting a cold war.
They would say you’ve insulted them and insinuated that they don’t know how to care for infants, as if they didn’t raise you the same way but now you think you know better because a doctor (that’s not even had a baby) said so.
To think we had a lot of tough love and “discipline” from our parents for the slightest mistakes we made while growing up. These same parents now become softies and help their grandchildren get away with breaking every parenting rule you put in place, entertaining all their whims and caprices.
Sex
Uhm hmm…I had to clear my throat before touching the elephant in the room. When it comes to awkward conversations you might not enjoy having with Nigerian parents, this one tops the charts. How do you even begin a conversation about sex with your Nigerian parents, like how?
I heard this kind of conversation mostly begins with an innocent question about what you heard, read or saw somewhere. You will immediately know you’ve crossed a line by the reaction of your Nigerian parents.
It is always epic; from shock that you are aware of such things, to accusations to confirm that you don’t indulge in such, and finally the advice but all of these tactics might have thrown you off balance, making you feel like a bad person for seeking clarity.
It’s called reverse psychology and every one of them knows how to play the game. Truth is they’re mostly shocked and don’t know how to navigate the conversation but instead of letting their vulnerability show (because they’re Nigerian parents and Nigerian parents do not show weakness), they act all tough and resort to reverse psychology.
Disclaimer – If you can’t avoid this conversation altogether, just be mindful of what you say because whatever you say might be used against you in the subsequent cases you’ll have with them.
Tattoos and Body Piercings
“I said it, you’ve finally joined bad gang!” “Is this how you want to pay me back?… Not in this house/under my roof!”
These are some of the things you’ll hear as your Nigerian parents’ first line of response, if you told them you wanted to get a tat or body piercing. My mum would outrightly switch to prayers and start rebuking the evil spirit that has possessed her child because in the opinion of the average Nigerian parent, only evil people pierce their bodies and have tattoos.
However, some people have braved the odds by going ahead to get the piercing/tattoo and allowing their parents to see it so they can have a chat about it. Well, for this kind of conversation, I have no experience because I haven’t had the spunk to try such …..lol
If you’re currently in this situation, I wish you all the best!
Have you had any experience discussing some of these topics with your parents? How did they react? Join the Fusion community and tell us all about it. Let’s keep the conversation going!
