Adulthood na scam is one of the truest sentiments Nigeria has curated. As kids, all we wanted to do was grow up and enjoy the luxury of doing grown-up things. Now that we’re all grown up, all we want is to become kids again…the irony!
Interestingly, no one warned us about growing up and the unrelenting nature of adulthood. It just constantly demands resilience, grit, and all the other good stuff without giving any of the things it’s supposed to give. Talk about the constant demands of adulthood…
I finally found a few hacks that can help you wing adulthood and as your buddy, I’ve decided to share. Trust me, they work!
Music
Anyone you see cruising through adulthood like it’s nothing has discovered this update I’m about to share with you but they won’t tell, so here goes nothing.
The first hack to surviving adulthood is definitely music! When life becomes overwhelming as an adult, and all you want to do is de-escalate and escape the pressure, play a nice Nigerian afrobeat song and in no time, you’ll find yourself helplessly moving your feet rhythmically to the beat of the song.
Like the deceased Nigerian artist, Mohbad said, Music no need permission to enter your system and that’s all the magic you need. Get yourself a banging playlist of about 10 songs (you’ll need about 100 if you’re resident in Nigeria) or join the “music for melophiles” community on Fusion to enjoy snippets of various genres.
The fun fact about this music thing is that there is a song for every occasion; from breakfast to sapa to billing to flexing. So regardless of the situation, you are covered!
Glasses
There’s no avoiding shege in adulthood. However, there are a few ways to minimize how much shege you see as an adult. One of them is to get yourself a couple of very good glasses (aka sunshade).
Most people see it as a vanity accessory but you should not be deceived, if you’re going through adulthood (or adulthood is going through you), it is a necessity. Make sure you wear one whenever you’re going out. It helps to shrink, magnify or block out the amount of shege you’re exposed to. The best way to find out is by trying it. It also has a way of increasing your steeze so you have nothing to lose.
Let’s not deliberate on the price (just get something that works for your pocket size) but what I can tell you is that the bigger the screen the better for you. So do you!
Data
Airtel says, data is life and I cannot agree more. One of the major proofs that you’re an adult is the availability of data. It is also a pivotal tool for surviving adulthood.
A lot can go wrong when you don’t have data. Imagine being unable to tension your friends and fans with those Jpegs from your photoshoot on your birthday or being unable to give accurate direction to a dispatch guy after he’s picked up your order (for food) because your data chose to finish at the most inopportune moment. Trust me, it hurts to be the last person to find out about a trend…
Having data increases your chance at long life. You’ll have unrestricted access to the rest of the world, just carelessly consuming content that keeps you amused, happy and laughing. It also ensures you stay connected with other Fusers and keep getting important updates like this from me. What more can you ask for? Don’t do adulthood without data my friend…
A senseless buddy
If you ignore anything on this list, you shouldn’t ignore this. It’s a must-have if you want to survive adulthood.
As adults, we all need that one friend that truly doesn’t have “sense” or any good advice to give. You know that one friend that doesn’t take life or themselves seriously, just living their lives in reckless abandon without a care in the world. Yeah, that your guy whose perspective always comes across as odd but in a funny way, that’s the one!
Looking at things through their eyes could lower your blood pressure and make adulthood seem less difficult. Also, their sense of humor might be handy, especially on the dark days. Of course, you should know where to draw the line so you don’t get caught up in their shenanigans.
At this point, I think I should start charging a fee for these updates I’m sharing. Let’s just call it my way of giving back or what do you think?
Before you complain about the quality of these updates, you have to try them first. If you try them and they don’t work, it’s not me, it’s you. Or we could blame it on the unstable weather. Still, you’re welcome!
One Response
awesome