Navigating conversations around sex has always been the biggest elephant in the room for most parents. This is partially due to the fact that we have embraced a wrong culture of silence and shame when it comes to sex.
Pushing the narrative that sex is ugly, basal and shouldn’t be discussed in the open even when experience has shown us otherwise.
This is mostly due to the presumed embarrassment and shame of sharing such delicate information with someone else; fuelled by the excuse of ignorance and innate self-centeredness, parents simply ignore the responsibility of schooling their children on such matters and leave it to the school, internet or any other willing person to do it for them.
However, the risk of outsourcing crucial aspects of parenting far outweighs the short-term gratification and relief parents get from it.
This is why we shouldn’t shy away from the responsibility of laying the proper foundation for our children’s Sex Education.
What is Sex Education?
Laying the right foundation for our kids and feeding them with age-appropriate information from time to time and properly managing their curiosity around the subject of sex is what Sex Education is all about.
It simply implies that you provide them with the relevant information about their body and sexuality.
What Age is Appropriate For Sex Education?
Contrary to popular opinion, Sex Education is quite simple and should begin from the cradle. Just like homeschooling, there’s no big deal to Sex Education.
Research has shown that when kids touch their genitals, it’s mostly out of curiosity than the urge for sex and it’s the perfect occasion for a talk about their genitals; the proper names and function.
It begins with naming/labelling body parts correctly, not shaming or yelling at them for their curiosity, instead treating it like any other subject. In doing so, you give them the freedom to express themselves and trust you with these curiosities, their ideologies and boundaries around the subject.
It is best not to give pseudonyms to body parts like ”pee pee” for penis or “private part” for vulva/vagina. Call it exactly what it is and help them understand its use in a manner that’s easy for their little minds to understand (again, age-appropriate info is key here).
There are several ways to achieve this, it could be a song or rhyme you put together to help drive a consciousness of these things as well as body positivity.
Respect their boundaries and practice what you preach because they watch more intently than they listen. For example, if you tell your child, “Don’t let anyone tickle you.” Then you shouldn’t tickle them as well. If you do and they call you out on it, be gracious enough to accept your fault, apologize and re-affirm them for keeping their boundaries.
Try not to pull out the “I am your Mum/Dad” card. This is important because they are learning from you what their standards on boundaries should be.
You might not need dark sayings or parables when it comes to Sex Education, you want to communicate as clearly (plainly) as possible to ensure the meaning isn’t lost on your student.
Stick to the fact/truth as much as possible. Nigerian parents in the business of scaring their children into compliance, *laughs in how market na?*
It’s a good time to also mention the ills of tagging some parts of their body private and other parts public. That’s like a disaster waiting to happen because in most cases the abuser never starts from the body parts you’ve tagged as private.
While Sex Education is important, what’s more important is its accurate dissemination in age-appropriate doses and it should begin as soon as they’re able to use words and comprehend its meanings.
Do you agree? Join our “Sex and Intimacy Community” on Fusion and let’s discuss.
