5 Ways To Get Out of the Friendzone

We’ve all been there: stuck in that awkward, painful zone where you’re more than just friends in your head, but still just “one of the guys/girls” in reality.

Welcome to the Friendzone: a place where unrequited feelings go to die, and where your dreams of romance get smothered by endless stories about their crush on someone else. But don’t despair just yet! With a little finesse, a sprinkle of humor, and a dash of boldness, you might just find your way out of the friendzone. Here’s how:

1. Stop Being “Too” Available

Ever notice how the things that are hard to get always seem more desirable? It’s human nature, my dear. If you’re always the first one to respond to their messages, always there to listen to their problems, and always ready to drop everything at a moment’s notice—STOP. The Friendzone loves those who are too available.

Take a step back, be a little mysterious, and give them a chance to miss you. You’re not their 24/7 therapist, after all. Instead of instantly replying with “Sure, I can help,” try “I’m a bit tied up right now, but maybe later?” It’s not mean, it’s strategic.

2. Flirt, But Don’t Be Creepy

Listen, there’s a fine line between playful flirting and being that weirdo who lingers in the DMs. Flirt with confidence, but keep it light and fun. Compliment them, but don’t go overboard. A well-timed joke or a cheeky smile can go a long way. Let them see you as a potential partner, not just the platonic buddy they call when they need someone to hold their bag.

If you’re worried about crossing the line, think of it this way: if they laugh or smile, you’re golden. If they cringe, backpedal fast! Take your L and keep it moving.

3. Show Them What They’re Missing

It’s time to remind them that you’re a catch. Like a friend once told me; “they might be the ‘Beans’ but you, my dear, are the ‘Dodo’”.

Start focusing on your own life—hit the gym, pick up a new hobby, or even start dating someone else. Nothing makes someone reconsider their feelings faster than seeing you live your best life without them.

Suddenly, the idea of you being with someone else might just stir up feelings they didn’t know they had. This isn’t about making them jealous; it’s about showing them that you’re a prize. So, do it for yourself first, and if they happen to notice… well, that’s just a bonus.

4. Be Honest About Your Feelings

Okay, this one’s a bit scary, but sometimes you just have to put on your big boy/girl pants and go for it. Tell them how you feel—honestly, openly, and without any pressure.

Sure, there’s a risk they might not feel the same way, but at least you’ll know where you stand. And who knows? They might have been waiting for you to make the first move all along.

Timing is everything. Don’t drop this bombshell while they’re in the middle of a crisis or when you’re both half-asleep. Choose a moment when you’re both relaxed and in a good mood.

5. Know When to Move On

Here’s the tough love part: sometimes, no matter what you do, the Friendzone is just where you’re meant to be with this person. And that’s okay! Not every connection is destined to be romantic.

If they don’t feel the same way, respect their feelings and know when it’s time to walk away. There’s someone out there who will see you as more than just a friend, and when you find them, you’ll be glad you didn’t waste all your time pining for the wrong person.

Moving on doesn’t mean you have to cut them out of your life (unless it’s too painful). It just means you’re opening yourself up to new possibilities—and that’s always a good thing.

The Friendzone is a tricky place, but it doesn’t have to be a permanent one. By being strategic, honest, and true to yourself, you can navigate your way out without losing your dignity (or your sanity).

And if all else fails, at least you’ll have some great stories to tell and a friendship that’s hopefully stronger for it.

So, get out there and make your move. Or, you know, don’t. The choice is yours. But whatever you do, do it with confidence and a sense of humor, because that’s what’s truly irresistible.

While you’re at it, join the Dating and Relationship community on Fusion. You just might find someone there.

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Nesiama Fasola

Nesiama (Ness) Fasola is a community manager, tech enthusiast, writer and full time hopeless romantic. She loves to scribble words in a bid to make sense of the jumble of thoughts, ideas and emotions that constantly plague her mind. At her leisure, you can either find her nose-deep in a book, brewing coffee or poking around in her garden.