How To Effectively Friendzone Someone

While no one wants to be friendzoned, sometimes it’s just inevitable. I mean you can’t entertain and date everyone who shows us any form of interest, attention, or love. However, you need to always remember that it is a sensitive and delicate matter. So, you need to approach the topic with empathy and kindness to minimize hurt feelings.

Having said that; here are some ways to effectively friendzone someone:

1. Be Clear and Direct

The first step to putting people where you want them is by telling them exactly how you feel. Let them know you value their friendship but don’t feel any romantic connection. Be sure to say these using simple and clear words (don’t cut through the corners).

2. Avoid Leading Them On

This point is very crucial. Don’t say one thing and then do the other. It is one thing to say you are not romantically interested in a person and it’s another thing to continue playing the girlfriend/boyfriend role (Aunty/Uncle pick a side biko.) Be honest, let it show from your actions that you meant what you said by not being flirty or giving mixed signals by being inconsistent with your behavior.

This point leads us to our 3rd step.

3. Set Boundaries

The importance of setting boundaries cannot be overemphasized. Establish what you’re comfortable with moving on. Are there things you are no longer comfortable doing with them? Do you want to limit the number of times you hang out in a week? Are there social activities you can no longer be their plus one? Limiting or putting a stop to all of those will help them not get the wrong idea.

4. Be Respectful

Remember that the person has emotions that could be hurt. Be kind, sensitive, and empathetic. This is not the time to turn them into memes or use them for a ‘TikTok challenge‘.

Be firm but tactful in expressing how you really feel. Showing respect can also mean giving them space if they need it. You can’t break their heart and still want to control how they react. It’s giving ‘you don’t want me to live and you won’t let me die. Don’t be that person.

Finally,

5. Show Appreciation

Let them know you value and appreciate their friendship and enjoy spending time together. Offer friendship and let them know you guys can still be great friends.

Remember,

It’s okay to friendzone someone if you don’t feel the same way they feel. I mean, after the initial hurt, they will eventually come to appreciate you more for being honest and clear with them rather than deceiving and leading them on.

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Nesiama Fasola

Nesiama (Ness) Fasola is a community manager, tech enthusiast, writer and full time hopeless romantic. She loves to scribble words in a bid to make sense of the jumble of thoughts, ideas and emotions that constantly plague her mind. At her leisure, you can either find her nose-deep in a book, brewing coffee or poking around in her garden.