Get On Fusion

The Best Stories You'd See Today

5 Foods Not to Order on a First Date

Share on linkedin
Share on twitter
Share on facebook
Share on whatsapp
first date

So, it’s your first date with this person and you’ve nailed the dress, your hair is giving Beyoncé, and your face is serving “main character energy.” You’re ready to charm the pants off them (not literally… or maybe, who knows?), and then, a rebellious strand of efo-riro wedges itself between your teeth like it paid rent.

Congratulations, you’ve just starred in your very own first-date horror story. But fear not, my dear aspiring lovergirl. I’m here to save your date. Keep reading!

1. Spaghetti

first date

Forget what Disney told you about Lady and the Tramp. In real life, spaghetti is a booby trap waiting to ruin your day. The inevitable sauce splatter turns your white dress into a scene from Texas Massacre. Also that seemingly cute seductive slurp? More like the sound effects for a bad ASMR video. Skip the pasta or be ready to paint yourself and your date with pasta sauce.

2. Draw Soup

Okro, ogbono and ewedu might be the pride of Nigerian cuisine but they are also the ultimate weapon against elegance, or steeze as the kids call it these days (Yes, I’m fully leaning into my 30+ era). These soups don’t just stay in your bowl; they perform acrobatics. If you enjoy reenacting Spider-Man scenes with slimy food trails, go ahead. But if not, leave this one for your “I can eat anything in front of you” phase.

3. Shawarma

There’s no elegant way to eat shawarma, period! The bread rips, the sauce drips, and that one rogue piece of chicken always finds its way onto your lap. Sure, it’s tasty, but unless you want to spend half your date looking like a toddler after snack time, let this one go.

4. Suya

first date

Suya itself isn’t the problem… it’s the onions! That crunchy little slice of stank is a certified date killer. One bite, and suddenly your sweet whispers sound like garlic-flavored disturbances. Don’t ruin the vibes; save suya for solo nights where there’d be no judgment.

5. Experimental Food

Trying new food on a first date is like testing a parachute after jumping out of a plane. Best-case scenario? You hate it and have to fake-smile through every bite. Worst case? An allergic reaction, several trips to the toilet, and a story your date will retell forever – but not in a good way. Stick to what you know, because nobody wants to write a statement because they went on a date with you.

Keep It Cute or Starve

Your first date isn’t the time to flex your foodie muscles or show off your ability to eat messy meals with grace. If it can’t be eaten daintily with a fork and knife (or if it might fight back, like pomo and shaki), leave it alone. Trust me, there will be plenty of other dates to show off your love for spaghetti or suya.

Want more dating tips and tricks? Join me on the Dating and Relationship community on Fusion. It’s fun there, I promise!

Join Here!
Nesiama Fasola
Nesiama Fasola
Nesiama (Ness) Fasola is a community manager, tech enthusiast, writer and full time hopeless romantic. She loves to scribble words in a bid to make sense of the jumble of thoughts, ideas and emotions that constantly plague her mind. At her leisure, you can either find her nose-deep in a book, brewing coffee or poking around in her garden.

Related Posts

813 Responses

  1. I’m not certain where you are getting your information, but good topic.
    I needs to spend a while learning much more or
    working out more. Thanks for magnificent information I was in search
    of this info for my mission.

    Reply

  2. I like the valuable information you provide for your articles.
    I will bookmark your blog and test again here frequently.
    I’m moderately sure I will learn many new stuff right right
    here! Good luck for the following!

    Reply

  22. Hi there to every one, the contents existing at this website are genuinely remarkable for people experience, well, keep up the
    nice work fellows.

    Reply

  24. Great blog here! Additionally your web site rather a lot up fast!

    What web host are you the use of? Can I am getting your affiliate link
    on your host? I wish my website loaded up as quickly as yours lol

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Stay in the loop.

Get notified about upcoming Fusion events near you and trending topics from top-rated communities

Lennox mall, Admiralty way, Lekki Phase 1, Lagos. | +2348165491678 | support@fusion.ng

 
Facebook Instagram Linkedin Twitter