So, you’ve decided it’s time to leave the sapa and shege behind and seek greener pastures. But there’s just one small problem: your account balance is giving “stay where you are.” Fear not!
We’ve compiled the ultimate survival guide to fund your japa plans. Note: Follow these tips at your own risk; we’re not responsible if EFCC puts your name on their vision board for 2025.
1. Slide into Your Sugar Daddy/Mummy’s DMs
The hustle is real, and love (abi na lust we go call am) is one of the hustles! Find yourself a generous benefactor who is willing to invest in your dreams. Keep the romance alive by calling them “Zaddy” or “Sweet Mama of life.” Bonus points if they’re already passport holders of the country you’re escaping to—no visa fees! Just remember, as with all investments, there are returns expected. Ahem.
RELATED: How To Find A Sugar Daddy in 2024
2. Start Ajo: Collect Number One and Run!
Organize an ajo (thrift contribution) with your friends and family. Volunteer to be the first to collect. After receiving your share, book your flight and activate your ghost mode. Don’t forget to change your number and delete your WhatsApp before departure. If EFCC releases a “wanted list,” kindly keep my name out of your mess.
3. Crowdfund Your Dreams with GoFundMe
Nothing says “help me escape” like a heartfelt GoFundMe page. Title it something emotional like “Help Nkechi Flee the Shege.” Don’t forget to add: “Any little contribution will go a long way!” Nigerians love a good sob story, so play your cards right, and the funds will pour in faster than your tears during fuel scarcity.
4. Become a Crypto Trader (and Pray for the Best)
Tell everyone, “I’m into blockchain technology,” even if you can’t spell it. Spend a few weeks on YouTube learning how to trade crypto, then throw your life savings into a token. If the gods of Bitcoin smile on you, you’ll be out of this country in no time. If not, well… there’s always sugar daddy/mummy (see point 1).
5. Fake It Till You Make It
Who said you need to fund your japa plans the legit way? Get yourself a travel plug who can hook you up with a fake job offer, bank statement, and everything else you need for a visa application. After all, a wise person once said, “If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, bamboozle them with paperwork.” Just don’t forget to look shocked when immigration officers ask why your “employer” has never heard of you.
The road to japa is paved with creativity, resilience, and sometimes questionable decision-making. Whether you’re collecting ajo money or sliding into a sugar daddy’s heart, remember that all is fair in love and migration.
May the japa gods smile on you, and may your flight never be delayed. Safe travels!
If you need more ‘legit’ insights on Japa plans, options and opportunities, join the Japa Community on Fusion today!
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