In Nigeria, football is not just a game; it’s a lifestyle, a religion, and a potential hazard to your friendships.
You can sit down with your guy in the morning, laughing and gisting, and by evening, one innocent football argument has turned you both into sworn enemies.
Today, we will be exploring some tragic, heartbreaking, yet absolutely hilarious football arguments that have ended long-term friendships in Nigeria.
If you’ve ever been caught in one, stay strong. If not, be warned. This game spares no one.
Messi vs Ronaldo: Who is the GOAT?
This takes the cake on the list of all football debates! This argument has ended more friendships than debt disputes.
One minute, you and your guy are chilling, watching a match, and the next thing you hear is:
“See how Messi dey dribble like spirit! Greatest of all time!”
Before you can agree or disagree, someone else jumps in:
“Na lie! Ronaldo is the real GOAT. Messi just dey do anyhow, CR7 get body, get headers, get speed, get everything!”
Boom! That’s it. Friendship over. Insults will fly. Phones will be smashed. Voices will be raised. And the next thing you know, two best friends are now bitter enemies because of two men who don’t even know they exist.
EPL vs La Liga: Which League is Superior?In Nigeria, football is not just a game; it’s a lifestyle, a religion, and a potential hazard to your friendships.
If you have ever entered a Nigerian viewing center, you know that this argument is just waiting to happen.
EPL fans will tell you: “Abeg, no league pass Premier League. Every weekend, na war! Small teams go flog big teams, no shaking.”
La Liga fans will respond with: “See ball control nau! EPL na just kick and follow. No tactics, just vibes and energy!”
Next thing? Someone’s chair is flying across the room. Innocent bystanders are dodging pure water sachets and angry slippers.
Why Did Mikel Obi Win African Player of the Year?
Listen, this one caused chaos. Mikel Obi, our dear defensive midfielder and assist ghost, shocked the world when he won African Player of the Year.
His fans: “Mikel deserved it! He controlled Chelsea’s midfield. Respect the legend!”
Haters: “What did he do exactly? He had 0 goals, 0 assists, just vibes and passing sideways.”
Before you know it, long-time friends have blocked each other on WhatsApp.
Super Eagles Will Win The World Cup
Every World Cup, there’s always that one person in the group chat that will say: “This year is our year!”
Others will try to bring them back to reality: “Bros, calm down. We don’t have strikers, our defense is on soft work, and our keeper still dey learn work.”
But no! The Super Eagles loyalist will take offense:
“So you don’t believe in Nigeria?! You are the problem with this country!”
And just like that, a ten-year friendship ends over an unrealistic football dream.
Arsenal Will Win The League
This one is a yearly heartbreak. Every season, Arsenal fans will say: “This is our year!”
And every season, by February, their title hopes have crumbled.
But try telling an Arsenal fan the truth? Omo, you don buy market. They will call you a hater, an enemy of progress, and a fake friend.
You: “Baba, Arsenal no fit win anything this year.”
Arsenal Fan: “Na so you talk last year! Watch out!”
You: “I watch out every year. Nothing dey happen.”
Friendship terminated.
Neymar is Overrated
If you like your peace, never say this around a Neymar fan.
The Neymar stan will start listing his skills, dribbles, goals, and even hairstyles as proof of his greatness.
You, still trying to survive: “Bros, relax. I just said he dives too much.”
Neymar fan: “You don’t know football! “
And just like that, you are blocked on Twitter, Instagram, and in real life.
Chelsea Fans Are Plastic
Omo, this one can get you slapped. Chelsea fans don’t joke with their club. From 2003 till now, they have collected enough trophies to be dangerous.
If you ever try to call them plastic fans, be ready for a five-hour debate on why Chelsea is the greatest club in the world.
Also, they never forget insults. You can argue today, and ten years later, they will still bring it up.
Liverpool Fans and ‘This is Our Year’
Liverpool fans are always hopeful. But before Klopp delivered the Premier League in 2020, it was decades of pain, suffering, and ‘next year is our year’ chants.
You: “Guy, this year no be una year.”
Liverpool fan: “You’ll see. Klopp is cooking.”
You: “E don burn.”
And that was the last time you spoke to each other.
If your friendship can survive a heated football argument, congrats—you people are stronger than many marriages.
But let’s be honest, no matter how many friendships football destroys, Nigerians will always come back for another round of gbas gbos.
So the next time you’re about to argue football with your friend, ask yourself: Is this friendship worth losing over Messi vs Ronaldo?
The answer is probably no. But will you argue anyway? Yes, because it’s football.
Have you lost a relationship over football arguments? Join the Football community on Fusion and tell us all about it.
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