5 Ways to Build Confidence in Any Situation

Ever found yourself in the spotlight but was terribly shy and ended up ruining the moment or missing an incredible opportunity? Guess what, I used to be the exact same way! On this day, as the group leader of a school project, I was told to present what we worked on for the past two weeks (Product development, we made Avocado butter).

I stood in front of the class of over 150 students and 2 lecturers. My heart beating out of my chest, palms sweaty, and my mouth mispronouncing the simplest of words.

Contrary to what it might seem like, confidence isn’t something you’re born with. It’s a skill, a mindset, and sometimes… a really good acting job until you catch up with yourself.

So how exactly do you build confidence in any situation, whether it’s at work, in love, or just surviving small talk at family gatherings? Let’s break it down.

1. Understand That Everyone’s Faking It (At Least Sometimes)

Ever been in a room where everyone looks like they know what they’re doing, and you feel like the only imposter? Here’s a secret, most people are figuring it out as they go.

The co-worker who looks so composed probably practiced their lines in front of a mirror. The guy who spoke so boldly at the meeting? He may have been sweating bullets inside.

When you realize people aren’t as confident as they appear, it makes it easier. Suddenly, you’re not “less than.” You’re human just like them.

ALSO READ; 8 Ways to Build a Personal Brand Online.

2. Prepare Like a Pro, Then Let Go

Confidence loves preparation. If you’re giving a talk, rehearse it until the mosquitoes in your room know your point. A date? Think of a couple of fun stories to share so you’re not scrambling for words. And if it’s networking, practice your intro so you’re not mumbling your name like a half-asleep toddler.

But here’s the twist: once you’ve prepared, let it go. Don’t overthink or script every detail. Confidence comes from trusting that you can handle things, even if they don’t go perfectly.

3. Use Your Body Like a Confidence Hack

Science agrees that your body language can trick your brain into feeling more confident. Try this; stand tall, shoulders back, chest open. Make eye contact (but don’t stare like a nollywood movie witch). Smile, not the forced creepy looking smile, but a warm one. Act like the main character that you are!

Even if you don’t feel confident, your body posture sends signals to your brain that says, “We got this.” Fake it physically, and your emotions will often follow.

4. Reframe Fear as Excitement

That racing heartbeat? Sweaty palms? Shaky voice? Most of us label these as “nerves.” But physiologically, they’re the same signs your body shows when you’re excited. So instead of saying, “I’m so nervous about this presentation,” drink water and try saying, “I’m excited to share my ideas.”

This tiny reframe can calm your brain and help you channel that energy into action instead of panic.

5. Anchor Yourself with Small Wins

Remember that presentation story I was telling you earlier? I didn’t do as good as I would have liked, I stuttered like I had no idea what the project was about. Thankfully, I still got a B in the course but it was the start of my journey to attaining confidence. I was shaky but I did it regardless.

Confidence is not built overnight. It’s like building a house block by block. Speak up once in a meeting, introduce yourself to one stranger at an event (yes, even if the only thing you want is the free small chops), share one idea online everyday and with time confidence would become second nature to you and flow naturally.

Those little wins add up. Each time, your brain stores proof that you can handle it, so the next challenge feels less intimidating.

The biggest lie is thinking you need to be flawless.

Confidence is about showing up as yourself, stutters, Yoruba accent, your “H” factor, and all. Nigerians love real people. That’s why your loud uncle can steal the spotlight at weddings without even trying, he’s just being himself. It’s a muscle you build daily. It’s in how you carry yourself, how you reframe your fear, how you bounce back when you flop, and how you keep stacking small wins.

Remember: Confidence is about expression, not perfection

So the next time you’re about to pitch, present, or even shoot your shot, take a deep breath and adjust your packaging.

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Azeezah Adetunji