Whether it’s a wedding, birthday party, owambe, baby shower, or even a “small get-together” (that somehow has 500 guests), one thing is certain—there’s a special breed of people that always show up every single time.
If you’ve ever attended a Nigerian event, then you’ve definitely encountered some of these characters. If you haven’t, take notes, because when you finally step into one, you are sure to see them live and direct.
Here’s a list of the different types of people you’ll meet at every Nigerian event—no matter the occasion!
The Aso-Ebi Gang
These ones did not just come to the party; they CAME PREPARED. Their outfits are well-tailored, stoned, beaded, and possibly brighter than your future. They move in squads, like a well-organized cult, and they will give you “Are you even supposed to be here?” vibes if you’re not in uniform.
If you’re ever confused about where the party is happening, just follow the trail of glitter and headpieces larger than a satellite dish.
ALSO READ: 5 Ways to Spot the Love of Your Life at an Event (And Not Fumble It)
The Overdressed Guest
This person deliberately misunderstood the assignment. They dress like they are the celebrant. They have just one goal: to oppress!
Wedding? They wear a ball gown.
Birthday party? They arrive in full red carpet attire.
Casual dinner party? They wear gele that needs three people to tie.
Meanwhile, the celebrant is just chilling in a simple dress or nice trad wear. But this guest? They must outshine everybody, including the sun.
The Food Hustlers
Forget the music, forget the decoration—these people came for one thing: FOOD. They’ve had only cabin biscuit and Coke since morning to prepare for this moment.
They know the waiters, the caterers, and even the hidden side entrance to the kitchen. They have four different take-away nylons hidden somewhere in their bag.
And when you ask them: “Excuse me, have you seen where they’re sharing small chops?”
They reply: “Ah, dem never bring am out?” (Meanwhile, they’ve already eaten three plates).
ALSO READ: 6 Tips on How to Afford to Attend an Event When You’re Broke
The ‘Mo Gbo Mo Ya’ Crew
You’ll know these ones when you hear them shouting at the entrance:
“Call the organizer! I was personally invited!”
“You don’t know me? I know the celebrant’s cousin’s neighbor’s mechanic!”
Meanwhile, they don’t have an invite, but they insist they are VIP guests and will do everything possible to enter. Even if it means name-dropping five different government officials in the process.
The Fashionably Late Celebrities
There’s late, and then there’s Nigerian-event late.
These people don’t arrive until the event is almost over. They stroll in at 8 PM for a party that started at 4 PM. But they must still make an entrance.
The way they walk in, looking around like “Why did you people start without me?”—pure confidence!
The Dance Floor Warriors
These ones don’t have home training when it comes to dancing.
From “Azonto” to “Leg Work”, they know all the dance moves. They will scatter the dance floor, throw leg in the air, and spin like their next meal depends on it.
Their energy is unmatched—they can be dancing for three hours straight without minding the sweat. Meanwhile, you that just stood up for two minutes are already panting like a generator with low fuel.
ALSO READ: How to Choose An Event That Matches Your Energy
The Instagram Influencer
They came for content, not the party.
They will take 1,000 pictures before the event even starts. Every meal must be snapped before eaten. Every moment must be captured with the caption:
“Loving the vibes at Chinenye’s wedding 💕✨ #Blessed #Lit #EventOfTheYear.”
Their main goal is not to have fun, but to look like they had fun on social media.
The Old Aunty and Uncle Association
You already know them. The ones that will side-eye you for no reason and start unsolicited commentary on your life.
“Ah ah, you’re looking fresh o. When are we coming for your wedding?”
“So what are you doing now? You’re still working in that your small office?”
“This your dress is nice, but don’t you think it’s too tight?”
Nothing you do can please them. The only way to win is to avoid them completely.
The Last-To-Go Home Crew
The event is clearly over. Chairs are being packed, the DJ has switched off the music, and the celebrant’s family is already yawning.
But these people are still there.
They’re holding onto their drinks like it’s their birthright.
They’re saying “Let’s just gist small.”
If you don’t escort them out, they will sleep there.
The Odogwu(s) and Odogwuess (es)
No Nigerian party is complete without the “big boys” who come to flex.
They will spray money like they just won the lottery, and if a live band is playing, they must bend down, bring out a fresh bundle of money, and slap it on the singer’s forehead.
For them, it’s not a celebration unless they make it rain.
Nigerian events are a whole experience. Whether you came for the food, the dance floor, or just to people-watch, one thing is certain—there is never a dull moment.
As a guest attending any Nigerian party or event, which of these categories do you or your friend fall into? Tell us in the Fusion community
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