Nollywood is the land of booming “gbas gbos” slaps (cue in ‘you slapped me?‘ and the slapper goes ‘yes, and I will do it again’, pastors who double as exorcists, and rich uncles who always have a suspicious cough before rewriting their will (or confessing all their evil deeds).
While we must acknowledge that recent gems like King of Boys, Breath of Life, and Gangs of Lagos have raised the bar with solid storytelling, impeccable casting, and stunning CGI, there’s still a special place in our hearts for Nollywood’s most predictable, overused plots.
You see, predicting the ending of a Nigerian movie is a skill; one that requires zero effort because, let’s be honest, the clues are always screaming at you from the first five minutes. So, if you’re ever watching a Nigerian movie and want to look like a script-writing expert in front of your friends, here’s how to know exactly how it will end before the opening credits finish rolling.
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1. If Someone is Suffering Too Much, Just Wait – They’re About to Become a Billionaire
We all know the classic Grass to Grace tale. If the movie starts with a poor orphan being bullied by their wicked stepmother or an overworked housemaid crying into a bucket of soapy water, just know that before the end credits roll, two things will happen:
- A rich benefactor will appear out of nowhere to change their life.
- That wicked stepmother will end up washing plates in the same mansion she used to oppress them from.
Bonus points if the transformation includes a suspiciously fast glow-up, complete with bone-straight wig, a new accent, and a luxury car that they somehow learned to drive overnight.
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2. If There’s a Flashy Young Man with a Goatee, He’s Either a Yahoo Boy or a Ritualist
Let’s be honest, if a Nollywood movie introduces a young man in an expensive suit with no clear source of income, we all know where this is going. If he spends half the movie throwing wads of cash at women and the other half laughing like a cartoon villain, please don’t get attached.
His options?
- The Redemption Arc: He’ll “give his life to Christ” in the last 10 minutes and donate all his blood money to charity.
- The Sapa Arc: His babalawo will demand an impossible sacrifice (usually his mother, favorite cousin, or left kidney), and he’ll end up running mad in the market.
- The Police Arc: EFCC will storm his mansion during his birthday party. Say goodbye to all those rented cars.
Either way, his downfall is as guaranteed as a Nigerian wedding running behind schedule.
3. If There’s a Village Scene, Someone is About to Get Jazzed
The moment a character travels to their village (especially after a big life achievement) just know the witches have already started their Zoom meeting.
If it’s a woman, the village aunties will quickly remind her she’s “not complete” without marriage. If it’s a man, an old uncle will ask too many questions about his finances. And if a plate of food lingers on the screen for too long? Congratulations, he’s just eaten a one-way ticket to spiritual warfare.
The options from here?
- He wakes up the next morning barking like a dog.
- His bank account suddenly shows “insufficient funds” because his ancestors have taken their share.
- He finds himself mysteriously engaged to a woman he’s never seen before.
Moral of the story: if Nollywood has taught us anything, it’s to carry your own bottled water and avoid shaking hands in the village.
4. If a Woman is Independent, She Must Suffer Before Finding Love
This one is a personal attack. Nollywood has this strange obsession with humbling independent women like it’s a full-time job.
The plot always goes like this:
- The woman is rich, powerful, and rude (because apparently, wealth in Nollywood means you must insult waiters for fun).
- She has zero interest in men until…
- A random mechanic/barber/Okada rider teaches her the true meaning of love.
- She will resist at first, but by the end, she’s serving him pounded yam in a wrapper while smiling like she just unlocked the highest level of womanhood.
Because God forbid a woman is successful and happy at the same time. Nollywood won’t allow it.
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5. If a Pastor is Sweating, The Demon is About to Talk Back
If a Nollywood pastor starts screaming “Holy Ghost fire!!” before the 20-minute mark, just know there’s a demon that’s about to start spilling family secrets.
Expect the following:
- The demonized person will NEVER stay in one place—they must shake violently, jump on chairs, or crawl under tables.
- The pastor will be sweating buckets, and at some point, his suit jacket must come off.
- The demon will use an exaggerated baritone voice to say things like “You cannot cast me out! I am ancient!!”
- Finally, after 30 minutes of spiritual combat, the possessed person will collapse, wake up confused, and immediately act like nothing happened.
And scene.
While Nollywood has come a long way with films like Breath of Life, Jagun Jagun, and The Black Book, some of their older storytelling habits refuse to die; much like that one action thriller character who survives multiple assassination attempts but still insists on walking around without security.
But let’s be real; we love Nigerian movie for exactly this reason. The predictability, the exaggerated drama, the overflogged storylines… it’s all part of the charm. Because even if we know how it will end, we will still sit through it, shouting at the screen like unpaid directors.
So, next time you’re watching a Nigerian movie, challenge yourself. Predict the ending in the first five minutes and see if you’re right. Spoiler alert: you probably are.
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