Eight Pets Nigerians Would Never Keep

Unlike people in other (developed) countries, Nigerians keep pets for all sorts of unbelievable reasons. Some of them include: aesthetics, status symbol, security, spiritual reasons, business purposes, etc. 

You’ll notice none of these reasons include love and that’s because it’s very rare to find people that truly, genuinely love their pets with no ”strings attached”, not that they don’t exist but they’re a very tiny fraction of the numbers. The relationship between most Nigerians and their pets is symbiotic. A form of give and take; dogs are an all-time favourite as they can provide protective services for their owners and their properties, while cats are kept mostly for rat hunting activities.

While this give and take relationship exists between most pet owners and their pets in Nigeria, there are some animals  that would just never make the list of pets to be owned/kept by Nigerians. It’s not because these pets are particularly dangerous, it’s just a matter of sentiment and being a bonafide Nigerian. 

Here’s a list of pets Nigerians would never keep; 

Rats

How humans came across the concept of keeping rats as pets is something I’ll probably never understand. Where do I begin?

Rats are mini terrorists. They have a long list of atrocities and are always guilty as charged. I’ll mention a few; 

They’re unwanted tenants –  those tiny little four-legged creatures that always live rent-free in our spaces and are capable of causing so much damage in a short period of time (depending on how many of them you have). That’s what someone wants to keep as a pet. 

Have you had an unsolicited manicure and pedicure (especially) done by a rat while you’re deep in sleep? 😂They’ll peel (I mean, eat) off your skin layer by layer and keep blowing cool breeze on it while they’re at it. You’ll enjoy the process until it’s time to get busy with those hands or move around on those feet, gbam the pain will hit you like a wave. 

Have I mentioned how they’ll see a stack of your last card(money) and go on a “selective destruction spree,” attacking only the higher denominations, they’ll avoid the lower bills like a plague. These aren’t rumors, I could spend a whole day sharing experiences I’ve had with these little devils but let me stop here. Rumour also has it that they’re the brand ambassadors for “sapa” translated as abject poverty. Let’s just say, We just don’t find them appealing enough to be called pets. 

Snakes

I know that in some parts of the world, snakes are common pets. The reason why is not something I can tell, it’s almost as if they have a unique death wish. Some would even give excuses like; the fangs of the snake have been removed. I don’t care how well-packaged this idea gets, it just wouldn’t be appealing enough for an average Nigerian to buy into it. Hmmmn! 

Snakes are synonymous with danger in this part of the world and we’ve all seen numerous videos of snakes turning against their masters. What if it strangles you in your sleep or worse, plucks your eyes out with its dangerous teeth? Even the name snake is enough to send shivers down the spine of an average Nigerian. Not to mention the thought of keeping them as pets. No, thanks but no.

Lizards

Truth be told, I strongly believe that Nigerians low-key have a thing against reptiles. Not just lizards but everything in this class gets the same treatment. We even somehow concocted a theory that allowing a lizard access to your skin can cause leprosy and since no one wants that, we stay away from everything in the reptile family. Plus what’s a pet if it can’t hop on one foot, roll over, wag its tail, play dead or give us rep in front of our friends? Hard pass….

Tortoise

When I found out people keep them as pets in other parts of the world, I’m ngl, I was shook! Like, who comes up with these ideas by the way?

The only people we know who keep tortoises as pets are mostly herbalists and traditional worshippers. It’s mostly used for voodoo. Even our movies push that narrative. So for non-traditionalist  Nigerians, it’s just an animal we’d rather not identify with as a pet. Let the “traditionalists breeve.”

Ducks

If you find a duck in a Nigerian household just moving around carelessly, just know it’s being reared for its meat, no cap!

The idea is to feed it fat and serve it up during special festive holidays. Believe me when I say Nigerians don’t keep ducks as pets. 

Wild Cats

Oh but there’s a trend these days for keeping wild cats as pets, like I stated earlier, it’s more of a status thing not for love and more often than not, the keeper becomes the “snack” eventually.

Just imagine waking up in the middle of the night to see feline eyes glowing in the dark just above your bedside, nah! My soul would have left my body. Why would anyone use their hard-earned money to buy something that can easily become the devil’s own mobile workshop in their house? Eeeeew! Rumour even has it that their saliva can make you go blind if it enters your eyes…lol.

These and many more are some of the reasons why a wild cat wouldn’t make the list of pets a Nigerian would willingly keep at home except of course they have a point they’re trying to prove, still, it would be a hard pass for most Nigerians.

Goats

Billy’s nature and smell wouldn’t let it be great. There’s no love for goats on these streets. Except for special delicacies like “Asun/Goat meat kebabs,  Pepper Soup and the likes,” Nigerians do not keep goats as pets. Even “Wizkid” kept a little goat for a while but now where is that poor goat? Probably devoured as peppered Asun years ago. We’ll leave genuine love for goats to the Arabs and other cultures that have the capacity to do so. 

Pigs

Most Nigerians see pigs as the epitome of dirtiness. No one wants to keep something that growls and eats from the gutter as a pet. Who knows, one day, your leg can start looking like meat to it. Pigs do not have sweat glands so their body has to be cooled externally, that means your shower needs to be on every hour. For animals that just squeal and grow fat, that’s a bit high maintenance for Nigerians. 

Would you keep any of these pets? Let us know on our socials. 

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