Every Nigerian has experienced fuel scarcity at one time or another. It is the bane of our existence at this point.
As much as we claim to be resilient people, the truth is that fuel scarcity always affects everyone negatively. Of course, we always find ways to survive and manage until the dust settles. But mehn, it isn’t easy.
While we wait and hope that this too shall pass, here are some easy ways to get fuel during this scarcity.
Date A Petrol Station Attendant
See, this is the surest way to get easy fuel; don’t let anybody tell you otherwise. Queue where? People might be buying a litre of fuel for 750 naira or 1000 naira, but that one no concern you. Your baby works in the Oil and Gas industry o. This is their time to shine. Best believe their daily tips are totalling over triple their monthly salary. Enough money to spoil you, plus free fuel with home delivery. Who could say no to that?
Learn How To Fight
“The kingdom of God suffereth violence” abi how do they say it? You cannot go to find fuel and be speaking Queen’s English. You have to drop your soft guy or soft babe aura at home. When you bounce in like this, one look at your countenance, people will clear road for you. And if they don’t, well, beat them up. Iyalaya anybody! Remember to dress the part too. You’ve to be convincing. And if they beat you up… Well, at least you tried. But try first, ehn. Try.
Be Ready To Buy Meatpie
This thing is simple. There is heat already and NEPA no send anybody papa. If you get to the fuel station and they ask you to buy snacks before they can sell to you, please buy. Look on the bright side; when you get home, you can turn on your generator set, seat in front of the fan or AC and eat your meatpie. Sounds like a good reward for hardwork to me. Plus, if you are married (or your babe came over to charge her phone *wink wink*) or you have kids, they’d be very happy to see you coming home with goodies. A win is a win.
Flaunt Your Doings
If you know you can’t fight, then you need to come correct. Package yourself as a big boy or babe. Find some bomb sunglasses (even if its night already) and wear your expensive jewelry. Don’t forget to smell nice; let that Oud slap them as you walk in. Fuel might be scarce and Nigeria might be hard but the drip is eternal. You can even flaunt a few gadgets that say ‘I’m a tech bro/babe’. Just don’t let them rob you sha. Once you bounce in, call an attendant aside and offer to pay double or triple. Don’t talk too much o. Let your doings do the talking. You’ll see how easy it is to get fuel when you look, smell and sound rich.
Do Good Deeds
In this life, just be a nice person. You never know when you might run into that person you once helped at the fuel station and they’d help you jump the queue. Just like that, you’ll buy your fuel without much hassle. Or they might have a relative that works as the manager of that filing station near your house. This is the perfect time to call in a favour. Easy fuel for one good deed. Sounds like a steal.
Date An Oil Magnate
This is the perfect time to have a Sugar Daddy or Sugar Mummy that owns a petrol refinery. Nothing concern those ones with fuel scarcity. They’re the ones running things. In fact, they might even be the cause of the scarcity. Once you land them like this, you don’t even have to ask. You’ll just hear, ‘Baby, one of my drivers is on his way to deliver a tanker of fuel to you’. So get to work. Abi suffer no dey tire you?
If you’re not sure how to proceed, check out this guide on how to find a Sugar Daddy in 2024.
Now that I have shown you the way, which of these easy ways to get fuel during this scarcity would you try? If you already have a fuel attendant boo or an oil magnate Sugar daddy, then share this with your friends let them help themselves.
Join the Dating and Relationship community in Fusion. Who knows, you just might find someone that knows someone that’ll ensure you never have to queue for fuel again.
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