December is the season of joy, festivities, family reunions, and… relentless couple vibes. If you’re single, you know exactly what I’m talking about.
The shege single people have seen this year in the hands of the relationship people is unreal! Everywhere you turn, couples are doing the absolute most. From girlfriend proposals (when did that even become a thing?) to all these couple trends on TikTok and IG, the single squad has been struggling to breathe all year long.
Let’s not even talk about the unsolicited “Why are you still single?” comments from Aunty Philo at every family gathering.
But hey, if you’re still surviving singleness like a champ, and somehow made it to December without losing your mind, then you, my friend, are a warrior. Now, it’s time to figure out how to make it through December with your dignity intact. So, here are 5 tricks for surviving singleness this December.
RELATED: 4 Reasons Why You Should Stay Single In December
1. Be Strategic at Family Events
Let’s be honest – family gatherings in Nigeria are a battle. You walk into your aunt’s house, and suddenly it’s like you’ve stepped into the “Who Has A Boyfriend or Girlfriend?” Olympics. The competition is fierce, and the pressure is real. The first thing Aunty Ngozi will ask is: “When are you bringing someone home?” And if you don’t have an answer, be ready for the trademark “yinmu”.
Solution: Start telling your aunties that you’re too focused on building your “career”. Practice the art of the nonchalant “Ah, I’m not in any rush to settle down. I’m building my career.” Bonus points if you subtly mention your “business deals” (even if those deals are just ordering food delivery on Chowdeck). They’ll be so impressed by your mature demeanor that they’ll forget to ask about your nonexistent partner.
2. Perfect the “Seasonal Boyfriend” Strategy
You know what every person who is surviving singleness in December needs? A seasonal boyfriend (or girlfriend). This is a carefully curated friend or acquaintance who you can pretend is your partner for all the major events. You’ll need them for Christmas parties, your uncle’s “big holiday” dinner, and those awkward moments when your high school classmates tag you in the group photo of their “couple goal” post.
Here’s how it works: you’ll agree to attend events together, exchange some harmless flirtation, and maybe even throw in a cheeky “baby” or “babe” in front of other people. But at the end of the day, you both go home to your separate beds.
Ensure your “seasonal boyfriend” is also single. Don’t go and be posing with somebody’s man, biko.
3. The Ghost Boyfriend/Girlfriend Trick
You may be flying solo, but who says you can’t walk into that December party with the energy of Beyoncé and Jay-Z? This is your moment to channel the ultimate couple energy – even if it’s just you and your phone. Walk into every gathering like you just got the sweetest text message from your boo (who is mysteriously absent, but that’s none of their business).
Take the opportunity to dress well; you can’t be found looking like what you’re going through. And when people ask where your partner is, just casually say, “Oh, they’re running late,” and proceed to flirt with the small chops in front of you.
4. Lean into the “Self-Care” Vibe
In case you’re still worried about the pressure from Auntie Ngozi or your friend who’s “happily” posting couple pics on Instagram, here’s the ultimate hack: self-care. December is a time for you to focus on your inner peace (and also, your Instagram stories).
Invest in some skincare products, have well-curated bubble bath moments, sip wine like you’re on a vacation in the Maldives (even if you’re really just sitting in your room, scrolling through Twitter), and post all about your fabulous solo adventures.
Here’s the beauty of it: when everyone else is busy cuddling, you’ll be busy glowing. Share your self-care rituals with the world. Show off your “me time” on your stories, because let’s face it, you don’t have to be in a relationship to enjoy being pampered. You’re the best date you’ll ever have, period!
5. Throw a “Single People Only” Party
Who says you can’t throw your own December party? Host a “Single People Only” gathering where the only requirement is that everyone has to come without a plus-one. It’s the perfect way to celebrate your collective surviving singleness in style. Serve the finest finger foods, play fun games, and dance to the hottest jams. If you don’t have enough single friends to invite, you can throw it open to the Dating and Relationship community on Fusion. There are lots of single people looking for ways to survive singleness this December.
You’ll have so much fun that you won’t even remember you’re single. And when someone asks, “But, why no plus-one?” you can confidently answer, “Nah, we’re having too much fun being free.” The real flex is having a great time while the couples are busy figuring out whose family they’re visiting for Christmas.
If you’re one of those planning on surviving singleness this December, you can still have a blast. The key is to embrace the season with a positive outlook and confidence. You don’t need a partner to make this December epic. You’ve got your friends, your family, your best playlists, and the ultimate self-care regimen to make it through in one piece.
