Truth be told, breaking up with your partner in December is hard. It is an art that requires mastery, guts and a sprinkle of empathy because it’s usually that time of the year where everyone else is cozying up with their significant other and posting nice pictures on IG.
The least you can do after making up your mind to serve breakfast and detty this December alone, (whether it’s because you’ve realized your partner isn’t the one or because you’re tired of their constant billing habits) is to be kind and hope it ends well instead of ghosting them or creating drama.
If you’re contemplating serving breakfast this December, then this article is the perfect tool for the occasion. I’m here to help you make it memorable
Choose the Right Time (Not on Christmas Day)
The timing is as important as the message itself, so choose the time wisely. Breaking up on December 25th is the relationship equivalent of throwing jollof rice in the trash (in this economy)—it’s just wrong.
Pick a neutral date, preferably before they’ve bought you any gifts (because who wants the guilt?).
December 10th sounds safe; you’ll give them time to adjust and still enjoy their own detty December plans.
Start with the Classic “It’s Not You, It’s Me”
Listen, clichés exist for a reason—they work!
Begin with a heartfelt, “You’re an amazing person, and I respect you so much. But I feel like I need to work on myself.”
It’s the ultimate breakup get-out-of-jail-free card. Plus, it makes you look mature while still leaving room for them to quietly roll their eyes.
Blame the Economy
If you’re Nigerian, you’ll agree with me that T.Pain’s economy is a perfect excuse for every occasion.
Tell them, “Look, things are tight right now, and I don’t think I can give you the kind of relationship you deserve. Between fuel prices, rent, and increased cost of living, I’m struggling to even take care of myself.”
If they’re Nigerian too, they’ll understand—or at least nod knowingly.
Keep It Short and Sweet
This is not the time for a TED Talk. No one needs a 30-minute lecture on how you feel “the stars don’t align.” Keep it brief.
Something like, “I think we’re heading in different directions, and it’s best we go our separate ways.” Boom. In and out, no unnecessary detours.
Offer Closure, Not Confusion
Be clear about your decision. Everybody loves closure!
Don’t leave your partner hanging with vague statements like, “Maybe someday, who knows?” Make it clear that the relationship is over but emphasize that they deserve happiness too.
RELATED: 5 Tips For Surviving Singleness This December
Throw in Some Humor (If They Can Handle It)
If your partner has a sense of humor, lighten the mood with a joke. Something like, “At least this means you won’t have to share your December chicken with me, right?”
Humor can make the situation less tense and remind them that life goes on.
Disclaimer: If your partner has a tendency for vawulenz and does not have a great sense of humor, you might want to ignore this step but if you insist, keep your distance while floating that joke or I won’t be responsible for what happens after…
Exit Gracefully (and Stay Off Social Media)
After the breakup, resist the urge to post a cryptic WhatsApp status like, “Free at last, thank God Almighty.”
Nobody needs to know the details of your split, and flaunting your detty December adventures right after a breakup is just tacky.
Breaking up in December isn’t easy, but with empathy and a sprinkle of humor, you can handle it gracefully.
Just remember, the goal isn’t to leave them broken; it’s to part ways with respect. And who knows? By next December, you might both be laughing about it over small chops at someone else’s wedding.
Now go forth and deliver that breakfast with empathy! I am rooting for you!
You already know where to find me on Fusion. Join the “Dating and Relationships” community and share your testimony before Christmas. Xoxo
